What is it about?

The rollercoaster adventures of parenting three kids, dealing with disability and mental health - and discussing disability discrimination and how to tackle it.

Wednesday, 3 December 2008


Beaver is in the middle of a serious bout of anxiety attacks. He's struggling with his difference, and is still not convinced it's not his fault. He's not a happy boy, and his behaviour reflects his inner turmoil.

Here is what he says:

- I hate my life
- I am a bad person
- I don't like people talking about me and my CP
- I hate myself
- I feel sorry for my mum and dad, that they had to have me.

Well, what the hell do you say to that!?

He's to anxious about bad dreams to go to sleep - I have slept in his room since October now. He's obsessed about being late. And he's obsessed about what happens next. As in, he wakes up in the morning, and ask ten times "what's for dinner?"

We knew this was coming. But we were kind of expecting it in his teens.

On Monday we took him to a psychologist at the Macquarie University Anxiety Clinic. Thankfully he loved the opportunity to talk to Doctor Zoya and is happy to go back next week and the week after. And the summer holidays start tomorrow.

I hope this helps. God, I hope this helps.


Anonymous said...

I think you can be hopeful, Heike. Visits with a psychologist seems like a reasonable first step to me. Dr. Z can be another set of ears and reassurance to him and you. Thankfully you were not rushed to medicate him - not that medication is a devastating step, just that moving deliberately is a better course, I think. Barbara

Gina said...

Heike, that is a tough one. Glad to hear he liked Dr Zoya though - that is another perspective for you.

Does he know any other kids in a similar situation. if it wasn't for his night time anxiety I would have suggested some of the sleep-over options or camps they have for kids - I think they have some classed as 'respite' specifically for kids with disabilities and try to match them up with kids they will get on well with - Fiona will know more.

I have looked at some night music options (there are some designed for appropriate night and day brain wave options we are thinking of getting for Mac) and can send you the links if you are interested.

Boy, these are tough issues. However, the obsession with time etc doesn't sound too out of the ordinary - I could accuse my nephew of that issue - I watch his stress levels rise if his family looks like they will run late, he needs to know the plan of the day.
Hang in there, Gina

Fiona said...

Your big boy needs to gradually spend time with other boys living with similar issues to support him coming to HIS terms with his life. Try respite with Northcott and Dec camps run by Joeys, Riverview 2009), Rita will have details. It's tough and it seems to get tougher through teenage years. I hope the light at the end of the tunnel emerges at young adulthood.