Beaver is in the middle of a serious bout of anxiety attacks. He's struggling with his difference, and is still not convinced it's not his fault. He's not a happy boy, and his behaviour reflects his inner turmoil.
Here is what he says:
- I hate my life
- I am a bad person
- I don't like people talking about me and my CP
- I hate myself
- I feel sorry for my mum and dad, that they had to have me.
Well, what the hell do you say to that!?
He's to anxious about bad dreams to go to sleep - I have slept in his room since October now. He's obsessed about being late. And he's obsessed about what happens next. As in, he wakes up in the morning, and ask ten times "what's for dinner?"
We knew this was coming. But we were kind of expecting it in his teens.
On Monday we took him to a psychologist at the Macquarie University Anxiety Clinic. Thankfully he loved the opportunity to talk to Doctor Zoya and is happy to go back next week and the week after. And the summer holidays start tomorrow.
I hope this helps. God, I hope this helps.